This morning started out horrible it was 8:20 am and Rich was busy getting the boys ready for day care as well as his 3 hr drive to Conroe, TX to visit with his bosses. This oil field business is tough, I knew I was signing up for him to be on call and out of the city/state for 14-21 days which has really turned out be more like 23-35 days. He was then supposed to be home for 7-10 days but the longest he's been home has been 14 days and that was vacation time prior to that he's maybe had 5 days at home. Well Rich and I have it our limit as he came home on 10/24 at 11 am literally 3 hrs prior to Holden's 3rd bday party, Monday morning at 10 am he was called to go back out. I would love to say I was the sweet, understanding wife, but I was not, I was NO, NO, NO, Fuck NO, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING! I knew he was leaving, Rich was mad, I was mad, both tired we had so much to discuss and zero time but the good news they said he could come home for Halloween which made us all happy.
Fast Fwd through his week from hell where he did not get to come home for Halloween as well as the fact that he almost walked off the job, but that's not my loyal, hard working husband. Due to Halloween not happening he had been promised 10 days beginning the evening of November 1st. During this time off he had several things to discuss with the bosses, well they never responded to his email so now that going back to work was upon us he had texted the bosses who then stated he could make the 3 hr trek to Conroe and speak with them today of course this was after he inquired about answers to his email. So his trip this morning had me bugged as they could not confirm nor deny if he was needed for a job, the thing about this business he's always on call and you receive very little notice so I knew he would have to take all of his gear with him in case he had to go directly from Conroe to a rig. I am sure you are all thinking why so pissed, well now that the holidays are upon us it's a super busy time for the oil field as jobs need to get completed prior to the new year when leases are up on oil rigs. So reality is we may not see him unless we make the trek to where he may land prior to 2011. I was also pissed as we again had blown 9 days off, he had put the xmas lights out but 16 were blown out, 2 light bulbs still needed to be changed, the xmas stuff was still in the attic, he had not told the boys he may be leaving for work again, our 15th anniversary is Thursday, we had yet talked about my job, or the hiring of a nanny, the boys have teacher/parent conferences at the pre school, we still needed to have one more date, and the most important thing I was not ready to turn back to a single mom. As usual I was my supportive self which means he left the house with us both being unhappy.
Fast Forward to the afternoon when a dear friend came by for a surprise visit and she allowed me to vent, it felt wonderful to whine. I also asked her for advice, as I wish I knew how to always be supportive and not pissed off that his company has zero respect for him. I do know what I signed up for but we were promised time off not to mention the fact that there is zero advanced notice, I mean he's been called at dinner time and asked to be in another state within 2 hrs which is impossible if you live in Central TX. Rich is paid very well and he loves what he does but the pressure his job has placed on the family has been something I never quite imagined. I really wanted this for Rich as he has always supported my career but I will tell you it's tough when you are unable to speak and make mutual decisions like we have done our whole marriage. The visit with my girl friend was great and she held me tight and told me she loved me which helped a lot. Rich called too and he sounded great, he does go back to work this wknd but he was able to come home tonight. The company is also making a lot of changes and they do understand all of Rich's frustrations, which made him feel great. I was feeling good about him coming home as I hated the way we left things.
I really wish I could learn to be more supportive, what I mean is to really embrace the fact that this job for a few years will put our family ahead of the game, it really will make it to where one of us can retire or part time, but basically we will be in place to where we can live the same life but with options. I just want to be more than talk and that is all I currently am is talk, I do mean well but I get so overwhelmed and exhausted not to mention when he comes home the transition is so rough.
If any of you have ideas on how I can start to handle his job better I would love to hear your advice...
Y'all will learn I usually go around the barn to get to the house ;)
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